I have a confession. Not a dark and twisted tale of how I’m responsible for someone’s death, or an embarrassing story of unrequited love. I’m pretty much an open book, so nothing to really see here. My confession isn’t even shameful, it’s simply something I do that not too many people know about. So, just so I can get this off my chest, you should know that: sometimes I sit in class and blog instead of paying attention.
I like to think of it as the better alternative to pinning away an hour or stalking ex-lusts on Facebook. At least it seems like a better distraction and not just a waste of my time.
Over my life, I’ve perfected the intermittent “I’m listening” smile that I flash every so often to avoid being called out by the professor. It’s a learned skill. Not everyone can do it, but some can master it after enough practice.
It’s like going to a cocktail party and talking to people you loathe. First there’s the attempt to avoid phase, followed by the awkward run in. Then the difficult part begins. The witty banter, the plastered on smiles, and the questions you don’t want to ask or hear the answers to. You schmooze. Share a secret look of disgust with a close friend. Schmooze some more. Fake a smile or two, or ten, or maybe even twenty. Haphazardly gulp down entire glasses of champagne to make the night a little more eventful. And then repeat.
It’s a balancing act of sorts. Too much schmoozing and not only do you end up looking fake and overzealous, but you end up wanting to shoot yourself in the foot by the end of the night. Not enough schmoozing and too many glasses of champagne and you find yourself dancing on top of a table in front of all your coworkers, including your boss, who will then fire you come Monday morning.
So see, balance is key when blogging, or for that matter doing anything else you shouldn’t be doing, in class. If you look like you’re paying too much attention to what the professor is saying, he or she might think that you actually want to participate. This results in the awkward moment when they, in no doubt, make eye contact and call on you. Look like you’re not paying enough attention and you’re royally screwed as well. Depending on the audacity of the professor they may call you out in any number of ways. My personal favorite is the classic name mention that makes the student not paying attention jump in their seat a little. It’s startling to be the victim, but amusing when you’re watching it from afar.
When it comes down to it, I’ve learned that there are two valuable skill sets that help in this endeavor: selective hearing and proper typing skills. I learned the irreplaceable skill of selective hearing at a young age. I learned how to pay just enough attention to hear when my mom asked me to do something, but not so much that her ranting distracted me from whatever I was reading. The ability to type while not looking at your hands is also quite valuable. I’ve mastered staring directly at someone while continuing what I’m writing. It’s efficient, but just beware that it may startle the person you’re looking at. Some people simply don’t know how to handle it and may become uncomfortable under your gaze.
What they don’t realize, however, is that you are merely staring through them as the creative energy flows through your body and out your fingertips. When I blog, my mind is somewhere else, almost, entirely. Whatever power remains unused by my brain is used to keep my hands moving and my eyes glancing up every so often. It may not be the best learning technique, but it’s efficient for my purposes. I mean it’s been working the entire time I’ve been writing this blog hasn’t it? I even think I answered a few questions in class while writing this post.
I guess I’m just a multitasked at heart. And that’s my confession.
Bittersweet Symphony 